The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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