He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
