I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
