im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
