Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
