Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
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There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
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I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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