dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
