There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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