Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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