:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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