I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
