Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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