Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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