3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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