Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Watching her eat just hurts me
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
