I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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