Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
