I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
