I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
