they need to just BURY HIM!
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
