i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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