Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just cut my nipple shaving
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
