i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
