am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.