where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
