he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
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We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
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His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks