Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls