thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.