I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
