It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
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As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
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dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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