hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
