Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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