Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
