I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
