last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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