ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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