Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
