i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
