Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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