So drunk its hurt
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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