am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
