Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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