So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
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