Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
