i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
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my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
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