Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
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My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
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My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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