she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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