smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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