Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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