im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Randomize
