dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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