Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
My life is pants optional.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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