i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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