he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Randomize
