Soap is not a condiment
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
