could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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