i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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