I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
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