Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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