ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize