That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
