Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
