idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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