that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
