is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
