Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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