So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
